Since then, I've jogged off and on, but never with the same consistency and diligence as I did when I was working toward a race I had already paid for and committed to running. I joined some friends for a Freedom Run 5k this past April, then did a Color Me Rad 5k with some other friends in June. I enjoyed the Color Me Rad a lot, because it was just a fun atmosphere, and it actually helped me forget that I don't like running. Or rather, it helped me realize that maybe I could learn to enjoy it. I had so much fun, I signed up to do another Color Me Rad 5k this month (it's now in 13 days).
About 7 weeks ago, I saw that one of my friends was going to run a half-marathon. At the beginning of the year, I set a goal to run a 10k by June (my daughter's birthday). It didn't happen, and I kind of felt disappointed, even though I had run the other two 5k's. I have also thought about how I would love to work up to longer races. So I started a 14-week training program just to see if I could actually do it. At the end of the third week, I ran my first 4-mile run. I didn't die, so I decided to go ahead and sign up for the race. I've now done my longest run of 7 miles (well, jogging with some walking thrown in there), which took me about 1 hour and 35 minutes. I'm far from fast, but I think it's more important for me to focus on actually going the distance before I worry too much about speed. I'm excited, and nervous, a little bit frightened, and incredibly proud of myself.
It's hard to believe how far I've come in just a year. On the other hand, I regret how many opportunities I have wasted to improve and strengthen myself. I have managed to lose some weight -- about 20 pounds, but I gained 10 back over the summer. I have not made nearly as much progress in the last 8 months as I should have though, and mostly because I'll be good for a day or two, then fall back on my terribly unhealthy eating habits and do more harm than I did good. Fortunately I can still squeeze into my "skinny" pants (size 14, down from size 18 that I was wearing when my daughter was born last year), so I think some of the weight gain might actually be from building muscle.
I know I need to combine healthy eating with exercising if I truly want to earn a healthy body. It's not just about losing weight any more -- I realize that I am in better shape now than I was in high school, even though I weigh significantly more. I may have been skinny as a teenager, but I wasn't strong. And now I may be a little heavier than I'd like to be, but I am growing stronger.
It is a long process. It is a slow process. It is a gradual process. I cannot undo years of bad habits overnight. And I admit, I get overwhelmed and discouraged when I don't see results right away. So I have decided to track my progress, and record my transformation from a sort-of-getting-fit-but-still-far-from-my-goals woman into the woman I want to be -- a woman who sets a good example to her children and to others about how to live a healthy life.
So what do I want? I want to be able to run a half-marathon (well, complete a half-marathon, even if I have to walk quite a bit of it). I want to fit into the clothes I wore when I met my husband five and a half years ago (I was a little bit overweight even then, so I'm sure I can fit in them even though I've had three kids). I want to be in my optimum weight range of 120-130 pounds. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to feel strong and healthy. I want to have energy. I want to crave healthy food. I want to inspire others to take the journey to health with me.
On September 15th, 2014, I want to take a look at the past year and be proud of the progress I have made and the changes I have implemented. The year will pass no matter what I do. I can become overwhelmed and give up, or I can take life one day at a time. I can take each day one decision at a time -- and choose to be healthy. I know I will mess up. I know I will have days where I feel like giving up. I know I will feel discouraged at times. But if I forgive myself and make the right decision the next time, I will still be able to make incredible changes.
I am so excited to record the transformation I will be making over the next year. I won't see a change tomorrow. I won't see a change next week. But I hope by next month I will start to notice a difference in my body. And surely after an entire year, the difference will be easy to see. I can do it, I can make it. Great feats are accomplished by small means. One day at a time, one choice at a time.
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